Don't Say I Never Asked

I understand John McCain’s bitter frustration. I’ve asked for many things in my life that just never transpired. A second puppy after my parents euthanized the first one. That gorgeous brown Miu Miu bag from the ‘06 fall runway. World Peace. An iPhone. You know, all the little things you can barely live without. Most of all, I understand John’s nagging disappointment after Mr. Obama denied him a town hall debate in the beginning of their bloody campaign. I too asked time after time after time for an informal debate, with Jesus Christ. Unfortunately Mr. Christ was apparently limiting pre-adolescents access at that time. I felt he was being smug. He probably thought I was overreacting. Prayers for late night talks mixed with prayers for fluorescent roller-skates probably sent mixed signals. Still, I had questions and several people at my church said he had answers.

So Jesus, if you’re out there, things would have been a lot different if you would have just agreed to one teeny weenie debate.

IGNORE THE MUSIC, BE IN AWE OF MUAY THAI

Watch the entire video.  Six minutes out of your life.

Reduce, Repent, Recycle!

We came across this gem stone leaving a thrift store parking lot in downtown Greensboro, NC and BAM!  Caught the eye immediately.  Jesus Christ:  marketing genius.

You know, when the BP went from being British Petroleum to Beyond Petroleum, you could say I was annoyed.  At that point I had already become pretty wary of green-washing.  Environmentally friendly Exxon Mobil commercials?  Word?

I realize now that green washing is an essential evil.  What is the average Joe the Fucking Whatever going to listen to, the commercial during "How I Met Your Mother" (awful) or the threatening Crass fan hooting and hollering on the sidewalk (equally awful)?  Shit sucks but it a) reaches a mass audience and b) makes $$$. 

I suppose it's time that Jesus cashes in on the success of environmentally friendly advertising.  No one was expecting that route from an infallible trio like the Father, Son and Holy Ghost.  Very clever, Jesus of Nazareth.  Very fuckin' clever indeed.

But!  But!  All of that burning in eternal hellfire business can't be any good for an already depleted ozone layer, right?  I guess you could pin that one on the bad guy.  You know, Satan.

It's surprising that the Obama camp didn't focus more of their environmental platform on "Clean Hellfire Technology".  Could've won over that impossibly Republican evangelical vote.