Now, on Ebay...

In my entire life so far, I'm pretty sure I've only gone after a short list of celebrities' signature. There was Mickey Mouse when I was 8, and really, I hate to say this Mickey, but it was only out of guilt and obligation (the kind that is special to young catholic girls that pray for puppies and tape cassettes) that I came over to you and stuck my napkin under your big stupid felt face. I figured out Mickey is a fake, and I'm pretty sure this dude taking all the credit for "Creation"... well, I haven't prayed for a puppy in a long time.  

Southern Church Marquees and Mind Explosions.

So, we still don't know a whole lot about the South, I think that's fair to say. This may be a regional phenomenon or this may be a County phenomenon, or maybe it's all over the South, I don't know. Regardless, the church marquees down these parts are fantastic.
Borderline offensive? Without a doubt. Remarkably clever? Absolutely. Unintentionally hilarious to us atheists? FUCK YES.
We got together today in our brainstorming fortress of solitude and decided to post a weekly photo of one of these amazing marquees. Eventually, we hope to publish a collection as the greatest coffee table book ever. Here's your first taste of blood:

Now, technically that's not a church marquee, as it's outside of our favorite thrift store (Good Samaritan Super Thrift in Burlington, NC).  But the store itself is probably closer to being a church than most churches back up north.  See: free bibles, "This Property Protected by Jesus Christ" sign out front, free preacher's cassettes, crazy old southern ladies who say "Have a Blessed Day" when you finish buying a shiny green chair or $2 dollar martial arts stomach pad.

So that's the first...keep an eye out next weekend for a new picture.